Somewhere over the Rainbow...

Today looks a good chance to charge your betting banks for the weekend. Two likely looking novice chases at Newbury featuring...

13:35 Finian’s Rainbow – Likely to go off odds-on largely due to the amount of hype coming out of Seven Barrows. Nicky Henderson and regular work-rider Barry Geraghty have been enthusing about his affinity for the larger obstacles for a while now. Whether you wish to take 8/13 about him winning is debateable and he faces two useful types here but his win over course and distance as a hurdler should stand him in good stead here.

15:15 Tell Massini - Trainer said he didn’t like the track last time nonetheless he won well enough on his chase debut. He faces some useful sorts this time in Aiteenthirtythree and Be There In Five (point to point winners yet to race under rules) in what looks a trappy affair but Newbury is a galloping track which looks bound to suit and this race should see continued improvement.

In all likelihood both will go off shorter than they should but taking these in a singles doubles combo weighted towards Tell Massini should see you in profit x

Saturday's Globe Trotting Football Accumulators brought to you by Sun Tzu

I've been having a look at the football this Saturday and there seem to be a plethora of likely bets on Saturday which I might attack in the kind of intricately tactical web of doubles, trebles and accumulators that Sun Tzu (author of the go to book for philosophical footballers such as Aston Villa's Nigel Reo-Coker) might have used to obliterate the bookmaking syndicates of ancient China.

The masterful Zulte Waregem squad are hoping to "a real fucking number" on SK Roselare on the 20th according to dashingly named striker Teddy Chevalier.

I’m sure there are plenty more diamonds to be found in the Dutch, Greek, Cypriot and Turkish rough on Sunday too! Let me know what you think of them, any you feel I’ve missed etc. Also what do you think of the chances of the big 2 in Spain this weekend?

You can find all these and more on Betfair.


Germany

Nurnberg v B Munich*

England

Wolves v Chelsea* (this one seems quite dodgy, especially in light of Chelsea’s CL 2nd round match next week)

Nottingham Forest* v Middlesbrough
Newcastle* v Preston
Cardiff* v Barnsley

Swindon* v Carlisle
Norwich* v Southampton
Colchester* v Oldham

Rochdale* v Dag and Red

Possible value upsets

Arsenal v Sunderland*
Celtic v Dundee*

Austria

FK Austria Wien* v SK Austria Karnten

Belgium

Zulte-Waregem* v Roeselare

Italy

Inter* v Sampdoria

From the frontline...betting shop wisdom # 2: AP McCoy’s "Shangri-Las"

The man they have come to know simply as ‘Champ’ can be a divisive figure among followers of jumps racing . Known for banging home more winners than any other jockey, AP McCoy has become something of an exalted figure in the sport, with few famous faces keen to do anything besides pay lip-service to his undoubtedly immense will to win.

There are however those among the punting fraternity who would regard AP as a 'grinder' who while most certainly a highly skilled horseman, does not have the cultured approach of Ruby Walsh. This may be something to do with the fact that his reputation is not one born out of profitability. It has been a decade after all, since he finished a season in the black when backed in each race to a one pound stake.


AP is undoubtedly a grinder, picking up wins at ‘lowly’ tracks up and down the roads of this sceptre isle but for the punter these victories in nothing races can keep you in Courvoisier till you’re old and grey if you know the tracks where he truly excels. South Wales’ new and highly thought of Ffos Las track is fast beginning to prove a Shangri-la for the ‘Champ’ and punters alike.


An overall record of 14 wins from 34 rides (41%) at the track yields a lovely + £18.54 strike rate but it’s when you narrow it down to his ‘Chase’ rides at the track that the real statistical truffle is unearthed.

From the 12 Chases he has contested at the Carmarthenshire course AP has been victorious on no fewer than 8 occasions delivering a 67% strike rate which would leave you £20.88 in profit if you’d staked a pound on each of the races. It may be early days for Ffos Las but in AP McCoy, its clear we have already found our preferred pilot.

Grind out some nice dough backing A.P McCoy in Chases at Ffos Las

Holy Smoke: #1 Cohiba (Cigarettes)

In life's most profound moments of repose, leaning back on a comfortable chair after a heavy meal or sprawled-out, spent on your bedsheets a smoke seals the deal.

Holy Smoke is Polish Ecstasy's smoker's review. It will concentrate on cigarettes and rolling tobacco until such time as our palettes become sufficiently jaded to move into the world of cigars(for pleasure)or perish the thought, pipe smoking. This column is not for the haggard thirty a day man or woman but for those that smoke for pleasure, when the moment demands it.

#1 Cohiba Cigarettes

I made the discovery of this fine smoke one rainy evening in Knightsbridge a couple of months ago. Having arrived early for dinner and not wishing to dissolve under the downpour I strode across the road from my meeting point and past the doorman straight into the deep carpeted, womb-like warmth of Harrods. Wandering past the the perfumes and the footwear section I came to the tobacconist and stopped in, hoping to pick up something french. I ended up walking out with something a little more exotic. Cigarettes made by Cohiba (the famous Cuban cigar producer)supplied in a stylish black and old gold packet. Back outside I found a sheltered spot under the fabled department store's bottle green awnings to put them to the test.

It was pleasing to see that the tobacco described as Black. The term "Negrilles" ranks Cohibas as at least the equal in flavour strength to the dark brown "bruns" tobacco found in Gitanes or Gauloises Disque Bleu.

In the smoking they share many characteristics with their french cousins. Part-hollow filters are the order of the day with the richness and throat-warming effect common to strong cigarettes there in abundance, along with the faintly sulphuric odour. There is enough taste to cut through the richest of meals or mellow the taste of a post dinner Brandy.

Retailing at roughly what you would pay for a packet of Marlborough Shites in a railway station kiosk, their prolonged smoking is likely to bring about the deterioration of you health faster than your bank balance.

A small warning would be reserved for those that enjoy chain-smoking. The feeling in your torso after smoking a Cohiba Negrilles cigarette can be compared to eating one too many bowls of Trifle in that the thought of smoking another in the following few hours is unbearable.


Score: 8/10

Whilst smoking you might imagine yourself to be: Roberto Bolano (author), Garrincha(bow-legged genius).

Young love and Mexican riots - A conversation with Blaine from the Mystery Jets

We spoke to Blaine from the Mystery Jets about music, future plans and more importantly the winner for the Cheltenham Gold cup.


You have had your fair share of ups and downs last year but what was your highlight?

I guess what I enjoyed most over the past year or so has been the band going to places we have never been before. It sounds kind of obvious, but seeing the wider world through the eyes of a touring band is a pretty surreal and addictive. We recently turned up in mexico to a mini riot because we had cancelled a show due to the promoter underestimating the demand for tickets. We rescheduled a last minute radio show with an audience and it saved the day. The whole thing kind of blew our minds. There are places like that (and japan and singapore) where there are is a sort of cult like obsession with all that is english.


What have you got planned for this year? Are you planning to release a new single/album?

Well we keep on saying 'right, this is it, one more show then we are gonna focus on the new album', but it seemingly never stops. We're going back to mexico in a week, then we plan to fit in some demo time. We signed to rough trade in February too, so i think they are keen that we knuckle down to it sooner rather than later, which to be fair is want we all really want to do to. we’ve already got half the record id say, but just haven’t had the time to work it out as a band.



What new bands have you came across that we should checkout?

We had a band support us called the dig in New york who were awesome. kind of like dirgy swampy groove music. One of the coolest things i’ve heard in a while was a preview of switch and Diplo's new record. Its a project called Major Lazer and came about from the time they spent in jamaica working with local kids and local celebrities. Its like a fidget take on dancehall, which in turn is being inspired by western dance music itself. I think it will blow some minds.

What are you listening to at the moment?

A lot of springsteen, late police, the cars, i guess in a way what you’d call driving music, which is kind of a hint to the the direction i'd say some of our new stuff is going down. I want to make a record which you will put in your car and never take out. If all goes to plan it will still be in there when your car gets re-traded or sold off for parts in some ten years time. We'll get there.


Alas Agnes is in my top 10 favorite songs of all time, is there any plans to use the ramshackle percussion more prominently again?

Thats kind of you to say, but to me doing something which is unfamiliar to us is going to produce much more inspired and interesting results than resorting back to sounds and things we have used in the past. We still play Agneslive and I still respect the singles off making Dens, but we're kind of in a different headspace right now. I don’t really wake up and think about how to write songs about transexuals anymore. Weirdly.


I’ve known you for a few years now Blaine, are you ever going to play in Peterborough?

You know i dont even know what or where exactly peterborough is. My guess is it’s a mid to large-sized/market town somewhere between leicester and york, but im probably way off. To be honest, in my experience the more effort you put into visiting places which are out of the way, the more of a response you get back. But saying that, I don’t know if I want to be doing any more pub tours again. I’m kind of over playing on stages where your feet stick to the carpet and your twatting your bass player in the face every 5 minutes with your guitar because your pedal boxes are on fucking top of each other. But in principle, yes. Bring it on.

Can you pick a winner for the Cheltenham Gold cup and we'll put a bluey each way on for you?

Imperial commander, you cant lose with a name like that.